Let me jump in right about here.
So today has been a pretty special day in my life for a while. It’s the day that I met Elizabeth. Some people remember their anniversary. To me, the wedding is the brides day. The groom shows up on time, and we do our thing. For me, the legwork was done a lot earlier. I was a young 25 year old fueled by cheap beer and living in a cheaper apartment. I believe Cheech and Chong lived next to me as some of my memories are really vague. I hung out until 2 or 3 in the morning at whatever bar at the beach we frequented that night and managed to drag my ass into work at 7am. My shower was backed up every couple of days making showers in the morning a real treat. Standing in a foot and a half of water with a pounding headache and dry mouth was really gettting old. I remember standing there one morning, my feet marinating in a gross stew and thinking, Bob (I always refer to myself in the third person when I’m getting serious with myself) you really need to find someone soon. Well, enter my co-worker Guy, who said “Hey, I know someone you need to meet”. And gave me a number.
Now while I realized I needed a life change, the effort was less than stellar. I kept on putting it off and not calling her. He kept badgering me until I finally got tired of hearing it. So I went into an office and dialed the phone. Now look, I talked to people on the phone all day. People I didn’t know. I was smooth. Damn smooth. I pressed those digits with a great confidence. The phone rang a couple of times and someone answered.
“Hello” said the gruff man on the other line.
Well shit, I was not prepared for this. I fumbled with the paper. “Is Elizabeth there?”
“No” (cue up uncomfortable silence). “Well uhhh, ahhhh, could you maybe have her give, no wait, could I leave a message and call her later….”. Pretty sure I blacked out and began speaking piglatin or in tongues at this point. That was a disaster.
I’m not sure if I called her back or not but that’s neither here nor there. Guy and his wife Debbie set up a blind date with a couple of other friends of ours. OK, now I was locked in. So what do I do the day of? Volunteer to help a friend move a couch. Real good Bob. So after moving this monster up stairs and having a few beers, his wife Missy says, dont you have someplace to be? Crap, yeah. So I took a couple to go and went to shower in the devils cesspool.
Upon showing up (a little late, because time wasn’t and still really isn’t a concern of mine except during work hours) I noticed Guy and Debbie, Tim and Jenny, and apparently my date with Guy and Debbie’s neighbor sitting next to her. I still to this day have no idea what possessed them to bring him. So I ordered a couple of margaritas and we ate, then I ordered a few more margaritas because, well, this was a lost cause. We went to some country bar after that. Again, this wasn’t in my wheelhouse as I really didn’t care for country music at all at the time (and still not my first choice). So lets review this blind date so far, awkward third wheel brought along, then hillbilly line dancing. Super plan so far. What could possibly be next? Oh yeah, how about a ride on a Ferris wheel so I could really get a good flop sweat going and hyperventilate. Maybe old third wheel could throw a towel over my head while I puke in the bushes. This was terrible. Then as I was at the bar getting a beer something happened,
She came over to talk to me. Well, this was a game changer.
We laughed about her dad answering the phone and the nonsense babble that I spewed and made the typical blind date conversation for well over an hour. We both had to split and I walked her to her car. I promised to call her again even if her dad answered the phone. You ever hear of love at first sight and think its nonsense? I’m here to tell you its not. I pretty much knew from the jump that this was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We went on a second date to Tim and Jenny’s wedding and had a blast. About eight months later we were engaged, nine months later we were married. I’m not sure where I’d be if I never met here but I would probably/more than likely/certainly be a lot worse off. I could go complete cliche and say she completes me. Nah, she rebuilt this from the ground up. Even with everything that’s gone on this last month I wouldn’t trade any of it. I love her more today than I did yesterday, or last year, or the decade before. We’re a team, and this third wheel Larry, well he’ll move on just the same as that guy 21 years ago. How do I know this? Because fortune favored me then and it will now. Anyway, happy first date day Elizabeth. Here’s to many more. Love you. MUAH!!!!