Thats too much Mayo

Let me jump right in…….

So if you’re looking for my breakdown on the Daytona 500 (they turned left, somebody won on the last lap, there you go) or my critical review of the Academy Awards (I went to sleep but I’m assuming La La Land won everything right?) you wont get that here. Because I’m tired. I’m beyond beat. So lets review what happened while I’ve been gone.

We came home friday. Elizabeth was still in discomfort but OK. We went to the beach, Everything was OK. Let’s then fast forward to tonight. After dropping Cheese off at dance I go to work out (because obviously, some people treat their body like a temple, not me, I treat mine like a tent). After a little bit I get the call that I had been dreading, she’s in pain. A lot of it. So I called our niece Addie whom I will never, ever be able to repay for all she’s done and will do during this, so she can pick up cheese while I take my bride to the emergency room. The young doctor whom I spoke with at Mayo (whom I’m sure is brilliant but looks like someone who offered to mow my yard two years ago) said to take her to the closest ER. I asked him, how about there? Because if I take a car to a place, and they have all the records and know what they’re doing with it, I like to keep going there. He  agreed so off we went, back to the temple of doom.

We arrived to a typical waiting room. At one point a woman began to cough up what sounded like half her small intestines. Sweet Jesus I’ve only heard those sounds after when I was in college and someone drank one too many flaming Dr. Peppers. I only pray the doctors put all her innards back in the right place. The triage nurse asked a question that thankfully was asked of Elizabeth and wasn’t asked of me. “Have you had thoughts of hurting yourself?” “No” “Have you had thoughts of hurting others?” “I’m in construction, I fantasize about it hourly”. So we then get back and again, with keeping the spirit of “they all look so young” we meet our nurse Michelle. Who looks like, upon first blush, a young Reese WItherspoon. I told Elizabeth (after the morphine kicked in and she could talk again) no, she looks like someone we know. It hit me later she looks like Cheese’s friend Catherine. Catherine is all of 15. So that makes you feel super old. But she was really sweet and did a great job. We stared at the blood pressure monitor trying to make the pulse rise and lower out of sheer boredom at one point. I think we both were thinking, this is just too much damn Mayo. The doctors finally came in and she is going to be admitted and get the drain pipes/tubes/Moen faucet installed tomorrow so the bilirubin goes down and stop with the pain and the itching. I/We really just want this to get her back to feeling as close to normal as possible. Anyway, I’m cutting this short because I’m spent, its 1 am and tomorrow I have a feeling is going to be super long.  Again, thanks everyone for the support. It’s been really cool to have people coming out of the woodwork if I/Elizabeth need to talk. It means a lot and someday I may call you. It may be by accident as I’m trying to order a pizza but once I recognize your voice we’ll talk. Until then, love you guys and blog at you later.

4 thoughts on “Thats too much Mayo

  1. I am so sorry that Elizabeth is once again having pain & needs to have a drain placed. She looked happy at the beach! I’m glad she had some time at home with all of you. Please let her know that I’m sending lots of positive thoughts her way! I hope she feels better soon!


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