Chapter 2. The Era of perpetual optimism


So its been a week.  I really didn’t expect to have anything to write about but then again, this is uncharted waters for us so there’s always something. But we’re just getting fired up again so there will be more updates on a more frequent basis. We’re going into chapter two of this four part saga wherein we begin to beat the ever loving crap out of Larry (for those new on here, that’s what we call the tumor, because, Larry, seriously. Again, no offense to anyone named Larry, Larry, the second of the three stooges, John Laroquette, Larry Bird, Larry from Arabia, JR Ewing  (Larry Hagman) from Dallas, Larry King, Cousin Larry from the hit TV show Perfect Strangers, Larry Sanders, or Larrys Giant Subs )

So lets give an update on our heroine Elizabeth. She had the drain tube installed which a friend of the blog immediately named “Dwayne the Drain” because of the problems we had with it. First and foremost, when it drained, it drained like a garden hose hooked to a sprinkler in the middle of august. But low and behold Dwayne had issues, much like cousin Eddie in the vacation movies. Yeah, we got to have him around but he’s a pain in the ass (or the side, as that’s where it comes out). Dwayne is the type is of guy that you invite to the party and he stands over the plate of shrimp at the appetizer table eating it like his last meal.  Dwayne is the guy that before he goes out for the night, douses himself in axe body spray, points at himself in the mirror and winks and says, you’re the man before popping his collar (only to come home by himself). Dwayne is the guy that brings over a six pack of natural light for a barbecue, drinks all the good beer and liquor then after grabbing one natty light to go loudly says, I’ll leave these for you. Basically Dwayne had one job,  drain the fluid, and he couldn’t get that right. So we found ourselves back at Mayo yesterday to fix this problem. What causes it? Who knows, ask Dwayne. Either way, its back draining like a 22 year old on quarter beer night at a college bar now. So that’s good.

But today we went in for a biopsy on the “mystery” mass in the abdomen. Remember that? There’s four areas of concern then there’s the one outside that “we don’t know what it is”. So we went there today.  Both of us were worried/scared/terrified (pick one then multiply it by 104 times and that’s where we were. So while Elizabeth was plied with Valium to calm her nerves (and well deserved), I drank coffee. We sat in the holding area where the family next to us was watching “Matlock”. Usually Andy Griffith’s smooth voice is calming. Today, I wanted to rip their tv off the wall.  Then (and I think Elizabeth was asleep or just closing her eyes and not paying attention) I heard one of the young doctors/nurses/whomever ask another worker in the next holding area “do you know how to work a fax machine?”

Again, I know their at the top of their game and some of the finest of medical professionals we have, but it was like she said, hey, I’ve got this thing, a cassette tape. How does it work? My god, we’re fossils. I’m shocked my hip hasn’t given out before this.

Anyway, they take Elizabeth back for the ct scan to see the best way to biopsy this “unknown mass”. I took off for more coffee and a questionable muffin. 15 minutes later, a text comes…..

I’m back in holding. They couldn’t find anything.

I run back, she’s drinking this stuff called contrast that apparently (to her, I tried it) tasted like pond water strained over a dirty flip flop through a hobos underwear. So after downing two cups of nonsense they wheeled her back. I went to get a salad. A pound and a third of salad. I figured I had an hour so I went outside to eat. I sit down, I get a text.

Come Back

WTF?!  I woofed down that pound and a third of salad in a little over two minutes (if there’s ever a competitive eating competition for salad, I’m the man) and went back to the room. Walking back I wondered, what am I walking back to? How hard am I about to get kicked in the teeth. However,…..It seems like, well……..

There was nothing there. Wait………..what?!

While I tried to be mad that we wasted a day, I couldn’t. We finally had another win. Hell yeah, We’ll take it. It might have been somebody’s thumb or a junior mint or some other nonsense but either way, nothing, zilch, squadooch. We came home, she passed out for four hours, I was blown out on caffeine so I mowed the yard and picked up every leaf. We ate tacos and toasted the day. We go back monday for the consult for chemo then Wednesday for the port then start the regular season (chemo) the next monday. She’s still hurting a little bit but hopefully that will subside and she can get big and bad for the battle ahead.

A little housekeeping on the blog here, my cousin Lauren posted that perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. I saw that this morning and felt, yeah, that’s it. We’ve had several people that have given their support to the cause in several ways that truthfully we’ve been moved to tears. From just riding the wave with emotional support to friends just being there to talk. And support in other ways we never would’ve even thought of (again, the package dropped off on thursday, I’m sure you’ll never come forward but there’s a special place in heaven for you). If nothing else its shown me that there’s a lot of good in people, that they actually care. All the nonsense going on today (at least for me) can get drowned out by people caring and thinking good thoughts. I We love all of you. We’re absolutely blown away. As for myself, its crazy to actually hear people that I don’t know say, “hey, I follow your blog”. (One being a freshman in Haley’s class so I need to apologize for the mf’er I threw the other night) That’s great, keep it going, spread the love and lets just see if we can move mountains with a force of positive thought. It’s all about perpetual optimism being a force multiplier, and we got it in spades. So lets celebrate this win. It’s a long season so we’ll keep working, with all you behind us, I’m not sure how we could lose. One down, four to go. With Larry standing there on the top of the hill. All fat and sassy like he owns the joint. No sir. I’m going to go lay down in my bed tomorrow with my wife (been sleeping on the couch because well, I’m a lot to sleep next to, and didn’t want to wake her up) and before I do will think a thought of gratitude. Well, a couple of thoughts. And you should too.

So love you guys and blog at you sooner than later. Ride the wave. #uphillbattle #chaptertwo

4 thoughts on “Chapter 2. The Era of perpetual optimism

  1. That is one serious win! We’ll take a few more just the same if you please. In the meantime, I am left wondering about Dwayne the Drain. I mean, where did he go wrong? Was he born that way? Did his parents not show him enough love? Did he get in with the wrong crowd? He was born and bred in Mayo for gosh sakes. Anyway, let’s hope he’s got it all out of his system and just settles down and behaves:)

    Liked by 1 person

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