I’ll jump in over here.
Yeah, its been a while hasn’t it. I really thought about this one a lot over the past couple of weeks going over and over in my head how to write this. Still not sure but I needed to write to keep everyone who has followed this journey updated. And before you say it, I know, I owe you nothing. But you’re wrong and I’ll tell you why later. First, the update on our heroine. The last three weeks have been bad. From upping the pain meds to stop the searing pain to the chemo and the nausea, she’s not really eating a lot. So as a result of that she has no energy, therefore she doesn’t get out of bed a lot. So as many of you saw today, Hospice was called. We have an appointment tomorrow at 3PM. Then back to the Temple of Doom wednesday and thursday for another round of chemo sandwiched between MRI’s, CT’s and doctors visits. So yeah. I could go deeper into this (a lot deeper, some of you know) but I can’t. Because calling hospice is almost to much weight for me right now. Everyone has asked at some point, how are you doing? Two word answer,
Not well at all. I’m sad. I’d probably say a bit depressed but I’ve never been before so I dont know. I was asked at Thanksgiving if I’m sleeping. Yeah, maybe too much. I’ve never slept through a Florida/FSU game and I know it was the right year to do it but man, when a noon game is too late for you there might be issues. I have cut down drinking a bit so thats good I guess. It’s hard to talk to people still. Either I just blank out or eventually just become infuriated listening. I’ve realized that and I know I’ve said it a million times on here and will say it a million more, I work with the best people who have said, have the calls come to the office when you get like that. We can handle it. Pretty sure they see/know there are days when it just isn’t going to benefit anyone to have me talking to customers. The girls are doing as well as they can. Staying busy. Hannah with school/work/boyfriend (yeah, you read that right and dudes like 6’4″. Seriously?) and Haley with school/friends/youth group. They make me proud in so many ways. Hannah came home from a friends church (she went voluntarily, which being the Fred Sanford heathen I am always astounds me) and we talked about the sermon. There was a line in there she wrote down. “If you’re marked with sadness right now, theres more story to tell. It’s the beginning of a beautiful story”. She got upset later that night, so I reminded her of this line. It’s a great line. They both are just starting their story. I’m sure it will turn out well.
For those that would say, you owe us nothing Bob. No I really do. I put out a simple post this morning, about calling Hospice. I got calls/texts/messages from people I hadn’t heard from in years and all my good friends. I got a call from the preschool director at Elizabeths old school early then went by later (and I’m still going to be Santa on friday, it’s needed this year just a little more). She said she had been flooded with calls asking if theres anything anyone can do. The short answer is no. You’ve done enough with just keeping us in your thoughts and prayers and keeping in touch. You’ve done more to lift our spirits by following this nonsense blog. You’ve done enough just randomly calling me and making me laugh at a stupid story or a dick joke. You’ve done enough by showing me that there are a few good people out there still and I think I know them all. I am truly humbled and blessed to have all you savages in our corner. And thats awesome, powerful stuff. I’m going to cut this one a little short as I’ve been alternating between puking and crying all day and a spell is coming on so until later (and I’ll catch you up sooner than later next time), love you guys and big sloppy kisses.