An open letter….

I’m sitting here next to you. Quietly. You’re on meds so you’ll never read this but right now it’s either write or stare at the wall. And I know you’d get on to me for pouring a ridiculous amount of rum into what’s left of my coffee at 1:30 on a Wednesday afternoon. But all things being equal I think the situation warrants it. I’ve already told you but wanted to reiterate that Ham, cheese and I will be ok. You’ve given me two great crutches on which to lean on and I hope and pray (yeah, I actually prayed) that I’m the same for them. Yeah, it’ll be a little different. We’ll still tell Haley to quiet down whenever Hannah and I get stupid and she makes the slightest peep. And I’ll make sure Hannah wears better fitting shorts and will constantly remind her not to say the first thing she thinks of. And I swear I’ll “make good decisions” whenever I go to a concert or a football game with my “boyfriends” as you called them. It won’t be the same but we’ll be alright. We’ll still go to Jimmys for thanksgiving and Easter. Christmas though we hatched a plan that instead of gifts we’re just going on a trip from now on. This year we’re doing it for Christmas but in the future may sit in the lounge drinking egg nog without the nog (re: bourbon) and plan an adventure. And don’t worry, you’ll never, ever be forgotten. We’ll order a Malibu and orange juice and plain, dry, cheeseburger wherever we go and choke down a couple of bites as an appetizer. Think of it as a traveling communion.

I can’t think though of a better adventure or a better partner to have run with the last 20 years. We had some great times. Jamaica, Mexico, Vegas, that really crappy hotel in Tampa we stayed at because I wanted to go to a rays baseball game. I know you really didn’t care to go but neither did I really want to go to an Amy Grant concert. The first time we went to Disney with each of the girls. The recitals and programs. I’ll remember it all forever. As will the girls. You’re like a bad stain on a white shirt. Even if we wanted to forget you we never could. Nor would we want to. Because it’s our favorite shirt. And we’ll wear it out. Even with the holes and stains and ill fitting collar that has worn out it’s welcome, it’ll still get worn. And you know me with old shirts. We had a great ride you and me.

As far as this last year, I told you at the jump, we’re a team. We’ll fight this thing to the bitter end together. We had help from friends and family and my god we needed it. I’m not sure where we’d be had we did like we said one day in a fit with everyone and said f’ it, let’s move to arizona. Hindsight being 20/20 definitely for the best we stayed. And we have the best group around us anyone could ask for. And they’ll be here for as long as they can stand us. We, well mostly you, gave it hell and we left no cards on the table. As you know I like to bring it back to sports and we were facing Michael Jordan’s Bulls. And we went down swinging. So I’ll leave it with this. Don’t be scared. At all. And I won’t be. Because I and the girls will thankfully have somebody watching over us with a little bit of skin in the game. And lastly……

I love you more.

5 thoughts on “An open letter….

  1. You have a beautiful love story….though your years together were cut short by this horrible, stinkin’ cancer, your love transcended it all. Love, hugs and prayers.


  2. Beautiful words. Beautiful tribute. Beautiful witness of husband, daughters, family and friends. Beautiful Elizabeth…..forever and always I will love you! (In case you didn’t see this on Mimi’s Facebook)


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