Let me jump in right here, cannonball style
So yeah, the counseling wasn’t exactly what I thought it was going to be. The doctor came in and said what she did was palliative counseling. Which basically is trying to figure out how to make things better going forward. Physically and mentally for our heroine. So we start off with the feeling out first round stuff, what’s your family situation, how are you feeling generally, why are you with this dope (I kid) that kind of stuff. So we went through that then she begins to dispense what we should be doing. One, why are you taking so many dilaudin? Well, the one time she didn’t we wound up in the emergency room with dr Dragon and his fantastic hair. We actually cut it back a bit from six a day to four a day, so what do we do?
Cut them out. The oxymorphone (long lasting stuff) should be able to hold her over and if the pain flares, take one. OK wait, this stuff is basically synthetic heroin. Isn’t there going to be some withdrawals.? Nope, not with the long term Oxys. Especially, the 2am meds, do you hurt? NO. Ok, skip them. This was music to our ears. Fine, we’ll take your word. Remember this because it’ll come up later here. No quiz, just remember. Two, you need to exercise more. If you have a membership to the Y then do the pool and walk, that would be great.
That would be great. Hey, let me introduce you to Dwayne. We would be completely down with that. Here’s what we need from you and we’ve told everyone what needs to happen. Dwayne the drain needs to go away. Ted the internal tube would be much preferable to this nonsense. Dwayne stinks. Sleeping sucks, no baths (our heroine likes a nice bath, I find it marinating in my own filth but to each their own.). Pools, water, all that is back once we tell Dwayne to hit the bricks. We got a, I’ll look into it. Monday, somebody needs to have an answer, preferably good because I will sleep on some Dr or PA’s lawn until we get what we want. Oh, also, eat more carbs. All of this made complete sense to me. Stop with the laying around and staring at a wall. Hell yeah, I like this woman. So then the counseling took a weird and strange turn that I wont get into here because apparently we have young readers on here as well as my kids and well, that would scar them for life. Even on the drive home both of us cracked a joke or two after saying, what the hell was that nonsense. If you want a funny story, message me and I’ll write an addendum to this however, be prepared.
Well, we decided to get a bagel on the way home. E started feeling nauseous. OH SHIT. We skipped the 10am dilaudin. She went and took a nap as she was getting her hair did at noon. Cool. She wakes up and I could tell, she was fighting through this. Because she was not going to cancel this. We went, she got her hair colored. I came back and muscled my way in to a great head shaving. The woman said she did straight razor for a friend and I think if she had one I could’ve talked her into that. She even trimmed the eyebrows and rubbed some balm on my dome, they look fabulous. E looked fabulous. We were ready for the couples massage at 5 after a rest.
We skipped the 2 pm dilaudin.
I woke her up at 4PM. Yeah, ok. I’ve never seen a withdrawal from heroin nor am I a doctor, but that was the DT’s. No doubt. Nauseous, sweating, loose poops. Again, just a hunch, perhaps the cold turkey was not a great idea. She suffered through the night, we skipped the massage. But man, that sucked. We slept through the 2am pills and the morning was ok. She’s feeling fine now as we decided to slow down gradually with the dilaudin. She looks better but now she’s angry.
Yep, angry, which is my wheelhouse. Look, what are we supposed to do? We realize there’s no exact science and everyone is different but damn, can we at least look at what’s going on and come to a consensus? Everyone said, no, stay on the pills. This woman didn’t We’re taking the last bit of knowledge we get. (We’ll except dont eat McDonald’s. That’s basically like someone sitting a great bottle of scotch or tequila in front of me and saying, drink responsibly, seriously, McDonald’s cheeseburger and fries, what the hell were we thinking. And we’ve done this twice with terrible results. The McDonald’s, not the tequila, that’s happened at least 237 times). A friend of mine asked me the other day, you dont seem angry, I’d be so angry. I haven’t for a while. Because, who are you going to get angry at? The cashier at Publix that turned my chicken dinner with beans and carrots upside down because the sticker wouldn’t scan (probably should’ve but I didn’t)? Should I get mad at the guy that kept hounding me the other day for a price on a small scaffold order that I told him, I’ll call tomorrow with it, and he felt by hounding me and finally going (right after a particularly rough convo with our heroine) “If this is too small tell me and I’ll call someone else”. Yeah, I got a little angry at that and knew it when I started my response with “listen buddy”. He backed down. But the anger, at least for me, is nonsense. Who am I angry at? What am I angry at? How do I deal with it. I’m still going to shoot for some therapy as I think my bride should as well. But, I’m going at it with freshly trimmed eyebrows so that’s a plus.
We’re actually going to go to Tijuana Flats (a Tex mex joint) for dinner tonight for six-o de mayo. A new hammock stand will be picked up shortly as mine rusted through last weekend after five years. Our heroine is up and looking better. So I’m cutting this now and running while the getting is good. Love you guys and blog at you later. MUAAAHHHHH!!!!!